Perpy had always been a smart kid.
But an action-taker, not so much.
He’d analyze everything around him, even when he could understand them intuitively, he’d rather double-check the facts.
He feels like some classmate of his hates another? Not enough of a proof, he digs in deeper to find substantial evidence to support those ‘feelings’ or ‘intuition’ of his.
To him, the world was simple. There wasn’t something that he couldn’t understand by reading a book, observing carefully or analyzing his surroundings.
“You read a lot, Perpy,” the teacher smiled at him, “How do you manage that? Balancing your studies, hobbies, and fun must be hard enough, and you’re doing extracurricular reading too!”
“It’s not much, teacher,” Perpy’s cheeks turned red, for being complimented on his brains was something he liked a ton.
However, the books he read were nothing special, just some mainstream ones that his parents bought back in the day during their short-lived self-improvement phases that didn’t last even a week.
His base of knowledge wasn’t bad, but much of the information he learned was terrible and was just self-help feelgood type of shit. His critical thinking skills weren’t up to par yet to make him realise that he’s already going a wrong path he’d need to correct later.
Perpy was unconsciously incompetent.
Believing all he read, and his observational skills, Perpy thought he was infallible and that his life was figured out.
The purpose was kinda obvious, and the steps to make it happen even more so.
The bad news was, day after day, he realized he was wrong about a ton of things.
The books claimed humans were nice and would treat him well if he smiled and behaved nicely. A lie.
It said that open-communication was the most valid way of dealing with others and a sign of maturity and being an emotionally healthy person. A lie.
They explained that personality was static, and your starting lot, determined by your genetics mostly, was all you had to deal with for the rest of your life. A lie.
It said that the world was fair. A lie.
They even claimed that women liked nice guys without much muscle or macho personality. A big fat ugly lie.
Perpy had to find out about all these things through first-hand experience, a process that was painful.
He was just thirteen years old when most of the realisations took place, and they stabbed daggers into his heart. That feeling was painful.
Too painful.
Perpy evolved!
Perpy became consciously incompetent.
“Aghh, how embarassing those moments have been,” Perpy groaned sarcastically as he remembered some of the experiences he had, mainly explaining his feelings honestly to his first girlfriend Maggy only for her to cheat on him with his more-stoic friend.
His memories of those times were nuggets of gold that kept him going in the darkest of days, and he no longer hated looking at his past at all.
A self-actualized man in his thirties now, there was nothing he wouldn’t give to go through that journey again. He had no more dragons to overcome, and nothing to expend his heroic valor on.
I guess helping others like Mike get their lives back on track is the closest I can get…
He closed his eyes and remembered his childhood; the period he was about to think of was the favorite of his, by a long shot.
After realizing tha gap in his knowledge and methodology, Perpy searched and searched and searched.
Not particullary for good-quality information, but he skimmed through everything on his way.
Fiction or non-fiction, it didn’t matter. So long as it existed, then it must’ve contained at least a small nugget of wisdom that the writer put into his written content.
Also, gunning for quantity was his best shot at finding good quality information. He linked with as many people as he could, or at least tried to do so.
The progress he made at this point was by far the biggest in his life, but there was one small issue he faced.
Living a purposeless existence, after finding out bit-by-bit the true reality of the world. That it was chaotic all over, and no one in his right mind should live in comfort thinking that he wouldn’t die in the next moment because a nebula didn’t take place close to our solar system.
Heck, even a volcanic eruption could kill us all, bringing the earth to a new dark age.
Perpy believed in god, but he realized it. His god was absent, absolutely unwilling to intervene in anything, and sometimes it seemed like he made things worse exactly when the person’s situation improved slightly, just to mess with us humans.
Perpy realised that no one loved him, and no one would, at least not in the way he envisioned it at first, the way he’d been brainwashed into believing at an early age.
With all this nihilism, Perpy’s journey for knowledge and self-improvement couldn’t keep going at the pace it should’ve.
His default state for the longest time after his realisations was depression, unable to reach the acceptance stage of the five stages of grief.
Then one day, he internalised a very simple concept, just as he was about to give up for good and live the life of an eternal obedient cucky nice guy model citizen.
I’m not all that important afterall.
What was a pitiful attempt at self-derogation at first, awakened within him a spark.
A small one, but it burned deep in his heart, setting a domino effect that would change his life.
His desire for a god to love him evaporated, for no human deserves anything without any strings attached. And with the level of freedom he attained, he no longer wanted it that much. He could get by.
A girl rejected me? I’m just a speck of dust, and so she is, and the guys that fucked her and would fuck her. In the grand scheme of things, we’d all be dead in a hundred years.
Someone insulted me? Oh, was that supposed to hurt! You’re actually complimenting me, because in truth I’m just an atom compared to the universe, and you’re calling me a bald dward, that’s a compliment in my books!
The guys at the gym laughing at my form and scrawny physique? Same shit, next.
Now, Perpy rejoiced in the freedom that the reality shock he witnessed gave him, instead of cowering in fear of what he should or must do.
He could do anything now, and he’d die whenever, it didn’t even matter anymore.
Perpy’s fear of failure diminished greatly with this, and he turned into a force of nature. He enjoyed the process of getting information and reference points, and dread wasting his precious time playing video games and watching media.
He quit masturbation and porn; all his masculine energy transmuted into the pursuits he loved sooo so much now.
His life was already the perfect video game, what more entertainment should one ask for? A game like ‘life’ on VR consoles would be the greatest hit ever in the gaming industry, but people don’t realise that’s what life is, and they have it for free!
Perpy became a work horse, approaching people, making notes, using different techniques and checking what worked and what didn’t.
He became a workhorse, one that enjoyed what he did thoroughly.
He became consciously competent.
Two years passed, and he became a monster. Everyone knew him as a high-value guy. Women wanted to be with him, and guys wanted to be his friends for the most part (or shot him, in the case of the ones whose girls he stole, unintentionally.)
Five more years passed, and he became a god.
Perpy’s apotheosis succeeded!
He became unconsciously competent.
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